she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
