Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
