your thong is hanging out like whoa
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
