seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
