my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I'm getting married
To pizza
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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