Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
