I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
