She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
