The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
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For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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