im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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