If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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