I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
you win again, gameday.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
