Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
