its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
