The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Randomize
