We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
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Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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