If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize