guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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