I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
