I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Randomize