Define "chronic" masturbator.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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