i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
