please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
