We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
