Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
