She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Randomize
