Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
