Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
