ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
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