I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Randomize
