Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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