something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
