Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
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