there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize