There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
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