i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Randomize
