yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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