ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize