i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
