I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize
