I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Drunk is not a location!
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
