yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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