There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
