absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
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