I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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