We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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