Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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