so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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