Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
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