Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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