What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
