You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
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