he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
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